Banana Doom Island
by Set Your Heart Free
Summary: Really random fic about Bleach, FMA, Naruto, Gundam Seed and a couple of monkeys stranded on an island. Written by me, AngelsPie, and snowie101. Flames welcome
1. Chapter 1

Yes, this is a crackfic made by me, Angelspie, and snowie101. We were really hyper and it was 2:00 AM, sooo...

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The start of summer, a time of relaxation, and so we tune in to a certain sunshine cruise lines…

"that's my saké shorty!"

"Who're you callin' short!"

Bottle smashes

"Idiot now there is no saké!"

Bitch slap(A/N: Rangiku now in bitch mode)

Ed: flee

Izuru enters lounge. "what the hell are you doing?"

"what do you think?"

"Probably the usual."

Hitsugaya enters.

"Taichou, did you bring any more saké?"

vein pops in annoyance

Hitsugaya leaves.

Izuru knocks Rangiku out.

Izuru says, "Crazy woman."

Izuru leaves room leaving Rangiku lying on the floor and sees Winry in the hallway.

Winry says, "Did you guys see Ed?"

Currently, Ed comes down running down the hall, realizes that he's close to the lounge and runs the other direction.

Winry "Oh."

Renji pops up.

Izuru says, "Hey."

Renji says, " Right... did you see any of those crazy ninja people?"

Rukia comes up, taps Renji on the shoulder, and says, "Now, I wonder, who was the one who booked us on this cruise?"

Renji turns around, and says, "Uuummmmm…!!"

(And now we come to our second fleeing guy.)

Rukia, turning to Izuru, releases her reiatsu.

Izuru gets shivers.

Rukia asks, "why are there people piloting these freaky giant robots?"

Izuru says, "Don't ask me. I'm sure Renji know, because it's his fault we're on this cruise in the first place."

Sasuke, Sakura, Neji and Tenten, and Naruto and Hinata run onto the deck.

Sakura says, "I see a little black dot coming on the next big wave!"

Wave gets closer…

Naruto says, "Holy s! I think it's …"

All ninjas stare at a yellow pair of board shorts on Orochimaru.

"Board shorts really aren't flattering on Orochimaru." Sakura said.

"Yeah, especially yellow ones." Naruto said.

THUMP

"Well they don't look good on you either!"

Hinata "Neji nii-san, why does he have dynamite with him?"

Neji :….

Tenten: smiles "Just ignore him, Hinata."

Athrun and Kagari run onto the deck.

Athrun: It has the ZAFT insignia on the dynamite.

Kagari: gasp "why is ZAFT allying with crazy ninjas?"

Orochimaru throws dynamite at ship.

Everyone on board tries to jump off the ship.

POW (Please note that when we had this typed on Microsoft Word, the POW was size 500.)

Everyone in the ocean is hanging off little chunks of wood.

The ocean current sweep them away to… Banana Doom Island!

A notorious island, known to be covered with…BANANAS!! dun dun dun dunn

Everyone gets separated into three groups:

Group 1:

Sasuke, Sakura, Hitsugaya, Hinamori, Kira and Lacus

They sit in a circle around a bonfire made by hinamori's kidou.

Sakura tries to get everyone to join in on the Indian Powow.

No one else is convinced.

Lacus decides to sing a song.

Group 2:

Naruto, Hinata, Edward, Winry, Renji and Rukia.

Naruto, Edward and Renji get into an argument, typical guy bashing each other up scene.

Girls quietly eat bananas while being entertained by the guys and laughing at them at the same time.

Group 3:

Kagari, Athrun, Rangiku, Izuru, Neji and Tenten

Rangiku is still drunk. She says, "Taichou, gimme some saké!"

Neji is being forced by Tenten to look for food.

Ranguki: Haha, sucker.

Athrun trying to get communication with his walkie talkie.

Group 1:

Kira on the other end… "Someone, we're stuck on a banana covered island! Help us!"

Kira: Oh, my walkie talkie is working!

Kira banging on the walkie talkie.

Hitsugaya: What are you doing to that piece of junk?

Kira: Just clearing the water.

Group 3:

Athrun holding walkie talkie to ear hears: bam bam bam

Athrun: O.o

faints from noise level coming out of walkie talkie

Kagari: Oh my, I suppose we have to do something about him.

Group 2:

Guys stop bashing each other up.

Rukia: Oh, you're done already?

All three guys: I'm hungry.

Girls sweat drop.

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Sooo, at the end of a long day, everyone is sleeping and eating bananas.

The next day…

The three groups decided to find each other; all the while eating bananas, and singing "Hollaback girl".

Eventually, they all get captured by the monkey kingdom.

They are forced to complete three EXTREMELY difficult tasks.

Peel a banana without harming the banana.

They must choose one representative to peel THE chosen one (banana).

If they fail, all shall be forced to walk THE PLANK.

There will be three candidates to be chosen for the representative.

(representative will be chosen by THE MONKEY KING.)

Three candidates are…

Lacus

Hinata

Neji(What?!)

The three candidates have to audition in front of THE MONKEY KING.

Lacus: Oh no, I could never hurt a poor, defenceless banana! (Sasuke :didn't you eat a banana yesterday??? Lacus: Shhh!! My reputation is on the line!)

Hinata: I don't know, don't you just peel it?

Neji: hakkeshou rokujyuyonshou ! (Neji creamed the poor helpless banana)

Everyone else: bashes head against closest object

Neji is chosen by THE MONKEY KING.

Renji: Isn't he the guy that just creamed a banana???!!!!

Hinata: Neji nii-san, I believe in you. You can do it!

Neji: hn…

All bystanders: Now, peel it, like a NORMAL person.

Neji: And what if I don't want to?

Bystanders: And what if we make you? (Ed: our lives are one the line!)

Neji: Then I won't ever talk to you again.

Everyone (including monkeys): gasp some pass out from the shock

Everyone (not including monkeys and have not passed out): Just do it, dumbass!

"fine." Neji says grudgingly.

And so, the banana is peeled (like a NORMAL person).

Our heroes passed the first trial.

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I know that the grammar sucks, but flames are welcome, I don't really care. PLUS, this story will not update until my friends come over. If you really like this story, then yell at our parents. Also, I do not know all the animes that were used, I am only familiar with Fullmetal Alchemist. So too bad, don't ask me any questions about Bleach, Naruto or Gundam Seed.

Please review?


	2. Chapter 2

Give us Peace: Wow I didn't think we would update so fast.

AngelsPie: Or get a review that wasn't a flame. Thanks **flamealchemist15 **!!

Give us Peace: Oh yeah, AngelsPie is here with me today.

AngelsPie: Isn't that obvious **_beep_**. So at first i was skeptical about this fic and didn't want to upload it i'm happy that there is at least 1 person who liked it. To answer your question, no, i don't think that there will be any actual pairings.

Give us Peace: Enjoy the story!!!!

Give us Peace: One more thing... sorry, snowie101 for leaving you out of this!!!!!

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The next day…

2. Hit a banana dead in the center.

(same rules as above)

Candidates are…

Tenten

Hinamori

Edward

Edward completely misses, and hits THE MONKEY KING on the head.

THE MONKEY KING gets pissed.

Edward cowers in corner.

Hinamori: Hajitake Tobiume! (fires red energy blasts at banana)

Banana gets blown to smithereens.

Tenten throws kunai. Hits a banana dead center.

Hinamori is chosen by THE MONKEY KING.

Hitsugaya: bonks head on person next to him, and starts a domino chain

"Oopsie Doodle"

Lacus is praying silently and everyone else looks ready to jump off a cliff.

Rangiku: I have faith in you! Just believe! And if you're feeling nervous, deep breaths! starts breathing inhale, exhale…

Kagari: I think the breathing has more of an effect on you than it does on her.

Everyone: keyword: NORMAL

Hinamori walks up to THE BANANA, takes her sword out and stabs it.

Three quarters of the people sweatdrop and the rest fall over.

Hinamori: What? There were no rules.

The monkeys are currently in an uproar. As in constant bickering. Well who wouldn't be? Their captives are gonna get off the island alive.

The next day…

3. Chop THE BANANA in 5 perfectly even pieces

The nominees…

Winry

Naruto

Rangiku

Winry fumbles around in her pocket and takes out a ruler. She starts to measure her practice banana.

Rangiku goes up to her banana and says "Aww… what a cute little thing. Too bad…" She unsheathes her sword and cuts it. She cuts it in four pieces length wise.

"hehe… I forgot it was supposed to be 5 pieces"

All the trees in the forest are now bending from the extreme whacking against them.

Naruto runs toward his banana, steps on one of the banana peels strewn about and slides toward his banana. He slips and falls, his butt landing on the banana, squishing it.

The trees bend a little further.

Ten hours later…

"I'm done!"

SNORE

Winry puts her ruler away and FINALLY cuts her banana in 5 perfectly even pieces. Down to the last molecule.

Now that everyone is done cutting and is awake, THE MONKEY KING chooses Naruto.

Some of the trees have touched the ground.

"Naruto just cut it with your knife" says Hinata

"Naruto have you ever heard of WALKING?" says Tenten

"NARUTO! DON'T YOU DARE SCREW THIS UP!" Sakura throws a bitch fit.

All bystanders walk back approx. 10 feet.

Naruto CAREFULLY cuts the banana (not to mention he does it EXTREMELY slow)

Humans: sigh with relief

THE MONKEY KING: Hahaha!!! You now walk anyway THE PLANK!

"HUH???" Nobody understands what THE MONKEY KING just said, due to the fact that he has really bad grammar.

Another monkey steps in to translate.

"You have to walk THE PLANK anyway"

"That's not fair! We passed all the trials!" Rangiku protests

While, the others are complaining, a few are scheming in a corner.

"OH! I know" says Tenten. "If you don't let us leave, we'll unleash Sakura on you!"

Everybody looks over at Sakura, who is a couple miles away. You could see the trees toppling over 'cause she was on a wild rampage.

Everyone(including monkeys): …

"Well… we could reconsider…"

"THE PLANK now walks!" orders THE MONKEY KING

"A walking plank?" Naruto says

"Wait before we walk the plank-" says Asuran

"THE PLANK"

"THE PLANK" Asuran rolls his eyes "Why do we have to walk the pl- THE PLANK anyway?"

"I don't think THE MONKEY KING has enough bananas in his system "He goes a little crazy" says a monkey.

"Why?"

"We're having a bit of a banana famine right now"

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Oh, i am sorry but I just noticed that in chapter one we spelled it Athrun and in chapter two we spelled it Asuran. Sorry for the mistake.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for sticking with us the whole way, **flamealchemist15!**

AngelsPie: Pfffft. Ya right. Wouldn't be surprised if **flamealchemist15 **never sets their eyes on this fic again.

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"Banana famine?" Asuran asked.

"Ya. Some really pale guy wearing yellow board shorts came a while ago and stole all our bananas. You know, the whole yellow thing…" the monkey replied.

"Okk…"

"Ohhhhh… ya mean Orochimaru? That old fart…" Naruto said.

"You mean the weird guy that blew up our cruise ship?" Asuran asked.

"Yup. That's the one."

"Are you sure he's not sick or anything? I mean, snakey eyes, grey face…"

"Nope. He's just crazy."

Monkey: ahem. THE PLANK, please.

Everyone: Oh, right.

Everyone walks over to the shore and they see…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

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… a boat.

"Huh? A boat?" Tenten asked.

THE MONKEY KING: 'Tis, THE PLANK beholds no?

Everyone: Ummm……

Everyone huddles together in a group.

Asuran whispering: Well, if we walk the plank, we can get off this smelly island.

Winry whispering: Ya, but THE PLANK only holds one person. And just so you know, it's THE PLANK.

Naruto whispering: We could all just stack each other on top of everyone else.

Rangiku whispering: Well, I'm not on the bottom.

Lacus whispering: I think one of you "manly men" should be on the bottom. Right, Kira? nudge nudge

Hitsugaya whispering: I'm just a kid, right? And you know kids get the top!

Hinamori whispering: Shiro-chan is so cute!

Hitsugaya: Shut up!

Everyone: You shut up!!!

THE MONKEY KING: Over now huggle?

Monkey: You mean 'huddle', sir.

THE MONKEY KING: Ever what. scoffs

Back to the group 'huggle'…

Neji whispering: So we're actually going with Naruto's stupid stacking plan?

Everyone else nods in agreement. "Ya."

Neji: anime fall

And so the stacking order is decided. It is as follows:

Neji is on the bottom. (Neji: What? Why me?)

On top of him is Hitsugaya. (Hitsugaya: What? But I'm a kid!!!)

Naruto is on top of him. (Naruto: dattebayo!)

Next is Winry. (Winry: But my delicate complexion!)

Next is Izuru. (Izuru: sigh)

Next is Renji.

Next is Rukia. (Renji: Get your foot off my face! Rukia: Suck it up, princess. )

Next is Lacus. (Lacus: Oh, my dress will get dirty. Kira: I'll be your carpet. Lacus: You mean mat? Kira: Ya, that thing.)

Kira ends up under Lacus, on top of Rukia.

Tenten is next.

Next is Edward. (Tenten: You may look small but you weigh like an elephant! Ed: Who are you calling so short that you need a microscope to see?!)

Next is Kagari. (Kagari: Ow! My spine! A metal thing is jabbed in my spine!)

Next is Asuran. (Asuran: Lucky! I thought I'd be on the bottom!)

Next is Sakura.

Then Hinamori.

Then Hinata.

Then Sasuke. (Naruto: Sasuke, he gets to be on the top, and he gets the big booby lady!)

Then finally Rangiku. (Rangiku: relaxing on top)

And so, our wonderful group sets sail across the seven seas.

Monkeys are under the impression that this is how 'walking the plank' works.

THE MONKEY KING: HahahahahahaMuah!!!!!!! THE PLANK walk die now!

Just as our lovely stack goes over the waves…

Hitsugaya: Naruto, get your butt out of my face!

Naruto: But it's itchy!!

Hitsugaya: Well don't use my face as a butt scratcher!

Naruto: But I can't reach it!

Sakura (from top of pile): Naruto! Stop whining! And shut the hell up!

The stack starts to totter from the vibrations of Sakura's voice.

SPLASH!!!!

Everyone: Oh, no! Not again!!!! Wait… it's only 5 cm shallow! Geez!

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If anybody wants, they can write an Acorn Doom Island and Peanut Doom Island with squirrels and chipmunks having a nut war or a Carrot Doom Island with evil bunnies. Just be sure to let us know, k?

AngelsPie: Pffft. As if.


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